Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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