there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
