My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
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