mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
