either way he was missing a nipple.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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