and you said cock pushups were impossible
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
We have started to decorate penises.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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