We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
