It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
