I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
