White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
