You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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