Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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