i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
This is my gift to your gina
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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