Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
that's an acceptable place to lick
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
