my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
