By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
