what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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