remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
