that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
My dick has a subreddit
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
