Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
