Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
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