do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
