So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
