so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
