...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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