Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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