I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
They should really pass out barf bags in church
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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