she kept yelling 'call me bella'
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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