I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
