she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
