she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
