Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize