How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
