it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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