I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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