you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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