I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
