Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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