they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
