ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
