I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
