You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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