omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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