he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
