She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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