everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
