Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Randomize
