I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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