who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Randomize
