As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
