therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
