So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize