his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
