my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
