ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize