I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
