try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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