The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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