When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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