i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
